How It All Began

For as long as I could remember, I’ve always been fascinated by the world around me.

My whole life I’ve always had questions about the universe that no one could seem to answer. How did we get here? Who created us, if anyone? What are we here for? Where do we go when we die, if anywhere? No matter who I asked, no one seemed to have an answer. No matter where I looked, nothing I found gave me the answers I sought, but instead only created even deeper questions.

Religion had never really called to me in the past, and my family wasn't religious. Truth be told, they weren’t exactly atheists either, because they hadn’t actually taken any stance at all as to whether they believed in a higher power or not. Because of this, I adopted my family’s neutral outlook on the world; not really believing in anything greater than ourselves, but not exactly denying the possibility either. In hindsight, it was probably thanks to this neutrality that I was able to find my path with such little resistance.

The day that I found my path was when I was only 13 years old. I never really fit in when I was in school, and was often bullied a lot, both because I was queer and because most people thought I was ‘weird’, so I would usually retreat into the school’s library to sit and read. I would always pick from the same shelves, often opting to reread the same books again and again because nothing else really struck my fancy. But everything changed when, on a whim, I decided to browse a section of books that I had never given much attention to before, in the world religions section. It was then that I stumbled upon a book called ‘the book of Wicca’ by Lucy Summers.

With this one book, my whole life changed in the best way imaginable.

My eyes were opened to a world I had never even imagined before. The book taught me about the ins and outs of the beliefs of those who practised wicca, and how they believed that energy and life force flows through and connects us to all living things.

This book opened my mind to the infinite possibilities our universe holds, and before long, I began expanding my horizons. From that point onward, I embarked on a long journey of spiritual learning that lasted many years, flowing from subject to subject; from wicca to christianity, buddhism, hinduism, and all kinds of religions. From witchcraft to tarot cards, crystals, pendulums and candle magick. From reincarnation to starseeds, higher dimensions, astral travel and past lives, to reiki, the 7 hermetic principles, the inner earth, Lemuria and Atlantis. In my years of learning about all these different topics and so much more, I have come across many spiritual teachers over the years. Some of them I still follow to this day, and some I no longer resonate with the same way I once did. The more I learned, the more it started to feel like everything made sense. All of the questions I once had about our world were finally being answered. No longer was our existence just a random chance. No longer was the world a lifeless rock floating through space. Instead, I realised that our world is one that is filled with magic and purpose. The sun, the moon, the planets and the stars were no longer just floating spheres in the infinite expanse of space, but now carried meaning to them; they are celestial beings that impact our everyday lives with their energies. Even the plants, who I once, like most, believed to just be empty, soul-less foliage with no thoughts or feelings, now had a whole new meaning. They are aware and conscious, just like us, and can hear, see, feel, breathe and think in their own unique way.

Finally, I realised that we are all beings of light, incarnate in a temporary body of flesh, all navigating this world with our own unique purpose and mission here, whether we realise it or not. Some of us are incarnating here for the first time, while some of us have had many lifetimes here before. Some of us have even had lifetimes in other star systems and in other planes of existence.

Most importantly, though, I finally learned that every single one of us comes from the same source; a great, all powerful, all knowing light that resides behind the stars, the creator of all things in this world and every world. Unlike what most religions will tell you, this source is neither a man nor a woman, a person or an animal. The best way to describe our creator, the God of all things, is an incredible quote from the Medical Medium:

“God is a word. God is love, which is above all other words. God is also more than a word. Because God loves all. God is the most powerful source of existence.”

- “Medical Medium, Revised and Expanded, Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal” by Anthony William

The Dark Before The Dawn

Make no mistake, though, because along my journey there have been plenty of times where the world didn’t seem as magical as my spiritual teachings had led me to believe. There have been more than enough times in my life where my view of our world was dark, cruel and bleak, because like every human on Earth, I’ve experienced more than my fair share of darkness and hardship in life. Growing up, I had to deal with an abusive father, bullying in school, and a seemingly never ending cycle of confusion and self-hatred due to my queer identity. By the time I left school, I had almost given up my spiritual lifestyle, and forced myself into a job I despised just to please my family. My mental health, which had been on a rapid decline ever since my teenage years, was then at an all time low. I became addicted to alcohol and nicotine, struggled with self-harm and suicidal ideation, gave up on my hobbies and passions, and eventually, even waking up in the morning felt like a herculean feat. All of the enthusiasm and whimsy I once had for the magical side of life was completely gone, and it felt like only emptiness had replaced it.

This long period of darkness in my life, which I now realise was a dark night of the soul, left me feeling alone, hopeless, and lost. It lasted for many years, and at one point, things became so hard that I didn’t see myself surviving any of it.

But as time went on, somewhere along the way, spirituality began trickling back into my life. At some point, I started praying to God and my spirit guides again. I would sometimes find myself sitting out in the cold at night, staring up at the moon with tears in my eyes, asking my team in spirit for guidance and help. Then, over time, I slowly started to notice spiritual teachers coming back into my life, either by randomly finding them on youtube or by feeling a sudden urge to revisit all of those spiritual books I’d forgotten about. Eventually, before I even knew it, my life started to change, and though these changes were hard for me at the time, I realise now in hindsight they were the best things that could have ever happened to me.

One year, my father passed away, and though this would understandably be incredibly sad and difficult for most people, for me and my mother it was a huge relief to finally be free from him. We felt like we finally had control of our lives, no longer having to walk on eggshells and live every waking moment in fear. While he was alive, my father was very vocal about his anti-LGBT views, as well as many of his other bigoted views on minorities. Because of this, I had to hide my true self from him while he was alive to protect myself, but once he passed away, I no longer had to hide who I was. Not only that, but once he was gone, my mother could finally begin supporting me and my identity in full force, instead of only being able to do so in secret. With my mother’s help, I was finally able to pursue the gender affirming care that I needed to truly feel like myself. For the first time in my entire life, I finally started to feel at home in my own body. It felt like I was finally living my life as me, and this alone has made me more mentally healthy and overwhelmingly happy than anything else ever has.

The next year, my partner broke up with me, and the whole thing happened so fast it felt like a blur. It left me devastated and heartbroken at the time, but because of it, I finally had the time to focus on myself and reflect on what I truly wanted in life, instead of constantly focusing on my partner. In hindsight, I now realise that we not only had vastly different goals in life, but we were two completely different people who didn’t really have much in common besides our hobbies, so truthfully it was for the best that we separated.

Then, not long after that, I lost my job. Even though I no longer had any source of income, I couldn’t care any less, because I felt more free than ever before. I was no longer tied to an exhausting schedule, having to drag myself to a toxic work environment doing the same dull, soul-sucking tasks day in and day out, earning barely enough to survive all the while. I finally had the time and space I needed to figure out what I wanted to do in life. I could fully commit myself to my spiritual practices again, and could start to properly think about a career that I wanted to pursue, instead of ones that others wanted me to. I had always dreamed of being self-employed, but never had the time or mental energy to even think about it. Thanks to all of these changes in my life, though, that was finally a possibility.

With all of this newfound happiness and freedom; living my life as the man I always knew I was meant to be, free from my horrible job and no longer restrained by an unhealthy relationship, the dark shadow that had been cast over my life for so long had finally been lifted. For the first time ever, my life felt worth living. I could fully dedicate myself to my spiritual practices again, and fell back in love with all of the wonderful and magical things spirituality entailed. My passion for my hobbies reignited again, and before long, my love for art and creation came back in full swing. Looking back, I now realise that all of these things happened because my prayers had been answered. Little by little, my team in spirit had removed the obstacles, situations and people holding me back and opened the way for me to find myself again.

Now, many years later, here I am; happier and healthier than ever, and fully committed to pursuing my dream. I am now more certain than ever that this is the path I wish to walk in life, creating spiritual content through The Crystal Dragon for like-minded people to learn from and enjoy. I’m sure my journey still has a lot more in store for me, and I’m sure yours will be the same, so I am incredibly glad to be sharing the rest of my journey with all of you. Through The Crystal Dragon, we’ll embark on an adventure of learning, growth, healing, and most of all, joy, and I am very much looking forward to seeing where our paths take us.

Whether you choose to follow The Crystal Dragon or not, I wish you much love, blessings and joy on your journey. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy your stay here at The Crystal Dragon.